Enjoy the Holidays: Why Skipping Traditional Foods Backfires
Skipping the holiday table in the name of "being good" is one of the most common mistakes I see this time of year. The pie, the cookies, and the dish your grandmother only makes for Christmas are not the problem. The all-or-nothing rules we build around them are.
This article makes the case for the opposite approach: show up, enjoy the foods that matter to you, and use portion awareness and moderation instead of avoidance. Not only is it a reasonable balance for how to enjoy the holiday without inhibiting your goals, but it's also backed by research. Below, I walk through what the research says about restriction, binge eating, mood, and holiday weight, and then how to put it into practice at the table.
The restriction trap: why "just skip it" backfires
Restriction does not make food less appealing. It tends to make it much more appealing and irresistible!
The classic example is the Minnesota Starvation Experiment of 1944–45. Researchers put 36 healthy young men through six months of semi-starvation. Summaries of the study describe how food became a focal point of conversation, reading, and daydreams, and some participants described binge-eating during refeeding. This was far more extreme than skipping dessert at Thanksgiving, so it is not a one-to-one comparison. It does show what a body and mind do when food is held back for too long.
Modern research points in the same direction:
Restraint and binge risk. In a study of 1,678 female twins, dietary restraint was described as a prospective risk factor for binge eating, with the effect strongest in people already at genetic risk.
Fasting is the biggest red flag. A 5-year study of 496 adolescent girls found that fasting for 24 hours to control weight predicted later binge eating more strongly than restraint scores did. "Saving up" by skipping meals before a holiday dinner is a mild version of this pattern.
Rigid rules do worse than flexible ones. In a validation study that included more than 54,000 people, rigid control of eating (all-or-nothing rules) was linked to more disinhibited eating, higher BMI, and more frequent and severe binge episodes. Flexible control (allowing foods in reasonable amounts) was linked to the opposite pattern and a higher chance of successful weight loss.
Weight maintenance follows the same pattern. In a study of 106 women, flexible restraint predicted better long-term weight loss, while rigid restraint was tied to a stronger mental preoccupation with food and body shape.
A fair caveat: these are mostly observational findings, and not everyone who diets restrictively develops a binge-eating problem. A review in the research literature also notes that supervised calorie-deficit diet trials have reduced binge symptoms, so the risk depends on how someone restricts, not just whether they do. The pattern that shows up most consistently is rigid, all-or-nothing rules and long gaps without eating, which is exactly what a "skip the holiday food" plan looks like.
Food rules, cravings, and the "what the hell" effect
I want to be upfront here: I could not find a study that tests "skipping holiday foods" and then measures sadness. What exists is a body of related research on dieting rules, deprivation, and mood. The link to the holidays is an extrapolation, but a reasonable one.
The "what the hell" effect. Psychologists Janet Polivy and Peter Herman described how people who follow strict diet rules often abandon them completely after one slip. The thinking goes, "my diet is already broken, so I might as well eat everything." Polivy and Herman's research separates this rule-breaking style of overeating from overeating that is simply triggered by tempting food. If your plan is "no stuffing, no pie, no exceptions," one bite turns into a reason to give up.
Selective deprivation and cravings. The picture on cravings is more nuanced than "restriction always increases them." A review of the evidence concludes that long-term overall calorie restriction may reduce cravings, while short-term deprivation of a specific food can increase them. In one experiment, two weeks without chocolate raised chocolate cravings in people who were already high-frequency chocolate cravers. In an earlier study, chocolate-deprived restrained eaters ate the most chocolate afterward. Taking one beloved food off the table, while eating normally otherwise, is the situation where deprivation is most likely to backfire.
Mood. In a community sample of 223 adults, flexible dieting was associated with less overeating, lower body weight, and lower depression and anxiety. (The holidays are already an emotional roller coaster; why add to that!) Calorie counting and conscious dieting were associated with more overeating when alone and higher body weight. These are correlations, so they cannot prove that rigid rules cause low mood, but the direction is consistent with what I see in practice: the people who feel most at ease around food are rarely the ones with the strictest rules.
Food, family, and tradition are part of the point
Holiday food is rarely just fuel. It is how many families mark time, honor people, and stay connected, and the research on rituals and shared meals backs that up, with some limits.
Rituals make food more enjoyable. In four experiments by Kathleen Vohs and colleagues, people who performed a small ritual before eating chocolate rated it more highly and savored it more than people who did not. The benefit depended on personal involvement: watching someone else do the ritual did not work. The family recipe, the table setting, and the dish you make every year are rituals in exactly this sense.
Shared meals track with wellbeing. A New Zealand research report found that young people who ate frequent family meals also reported better family relationships and fewer depressive symptoms.
But the meal is part of a bigger package. A Cornell and University of Minnesota study of about 18,000 adolescents found that most of the link between family dinners and wellbeing was explained by other aspects of the family environment, and described dinners as part of a broader set of routines and rituals. In other words, the connection matters more than the menu.
Two honest caveats. Most of this research is on children and teens, not adults at holiday gatherings, and it is correlational. What it supports is a simple idea: being fully present for the shared meal, including the foods that carry meaning for your family, is worth protecting. Sitting at the table with a plate of plain vegetables while everyone else enjoys Grandma's recipe has a cost that does not show up on a nutrition label.
What holiday weight gain really looks like
The most well-known study that specifically examines holiday weight gain found that most of the study participants gained less than one pound, far below the 5 to 10 pounds people fear.
In that prospective study of 195 adults, published in the New England Journal of Medicine, average holiday weight gain was 0.37 kg (about 0.8 lb). Fewer than 10% of participants gained more than 5 lb. Later work agrees: a 2017 review found adults consistently gained between 0.4 and 0.9 kg over the holiday period.
The less comfortable finding is that the weight tends to stay. In the 165 participants followed for a year, the holiday gain was not lost afterward, and they ended the year about 1.4 lb heavier. That is why I am not telling you to ignore portions. One pound is small, but small, repeated gains add up across years.
The same study points to what helps most. Participants who reported being more physically active gained less over the holidays. Rather than skipping the holiday food, enjoy it while keeping your normal strength training and daily movement in place, eating regular meals, and being deliberate about how much of each food you take.
How to enjoy the table without overdoing it
Moderation works when it is a plan, not a vague intention. Here is how I would approach any holiday meal.
Eat normally earlier in the day. Dietitians consistently advise against skipping meals to "save up", because arriving very hungry makes overeating more likely. Regular meals and snacks keep appetite steadier, particularly higher protein meals and snacks.
Pick your priorities. Ask which foods are truly special: the dish tied to a person or a memory, or the one you only get once a year. Take those first and fully. Skip the generic items you could eat any Tuesday.
Build a sample plate. Start with small portions of each item you actually want, and anchor the plate with protein and vegetables. A smaller plate helps you see how much you are taking.
Slow down and taste it. Sit down, put the fork down between bites, and enjoy the food you choose. This is the ritual research in action: involvement is what makes food more satisfying.
Check in before seconds. Ask how hungry you are and whether the food is as good as you expected. If you want seconds of your favorite, take a smaller second portion.
Keep your routine. In the holiday weight study, more active people gained less. Keep your strength sessions, walks, and sleep schedule, and do not add punishing workouts to "earn" a meal.
If you overdo it, move on. One big meal is one meal. Do not fast the next day to compensate. Given what we saw about fasting and binge risk, the next normal meal is the best repair.
The bottom line
Skipping the foods you love is not a neutral health move. The research on rigid food rules, fasting, and deprivation suggests it can increase cravings, rebound eating, and stress around food, and it takes you out of the traditions that make the season meaningful. The evidence is not perfect, and no study has tested holiday foods specifically, but it points consistently in one direction.
The average holiday weight gain is small, and the strategies that keep it small are simple: eat regularly, choose the foods that matter, plate them in reasonable portions, savor them, and maintain daily movement and resistance training.
If food rules or guilt around eating have started to dominate your thinking, or you notice a cycle of restricting and binging, it is worth talking with a mental health professional who works with eating concerns.
References
American Institute for Cancer Research. (2012, December 17). Holiday weight gain: Exploring the nuance. https://www.aicr.org/resources/blog/holiday-weight-gain-exploring-the-nuance/
Díaz-Zavala, R. G., Castro-Cantú, M. F., Valencia, M. E., Álvarez-Hernández, G., Haby, M. M., & Esparza-Romero, J. (2017). Effect of the holiday season on weight gain: A narrative review. Journal of Obesity, 2017, Article 2085136. https://doi.org/10.1155/2017/2085136
Duke Department of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences. (n.d.). The starvation experiment. https://psychiatry.duke.edu/blog/starvation-experiment
Gall, M. (n.d.). Eating for the holidays! Mayo Clinic Dan Abraham Healthy Living Center. https://dahlc.mayoclinic.org/?p=3119
Keys, A., Brožek, J., Henschel, A., Mickelsen, O., & Taylor, H. L. (1950). The biology of human starvation (Vols. 1–2). University of Minnesota Press.
Lish, E. (n.d.). 4 tips for healthy eating during the holidays. St. Vincent de Paul. https://charitytaxcreditaz.stvincentdepaul.net/news/4-tips-healthy-eating-during-holidays
Meule, A. (2020). The psychology of food cravings: The role of food deprivation. Current Nutrition Reports, 9(3), 251–257. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13668-020-00326-0
Musick, K., & Meier, A. (2012). Assessing causality and persistence in associations between family dinners and adolescent well-being. Journal of Marriage and Family, 74(3), 476–493. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2012.00973.x
National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. (n.d.). Holiday weight gain slight, but may last a lifetime. https://www.nichd.nih.gov/newsroom/releases/holidayweightgain
Polivy, J., & Herman, C. P. (2020). Overeating in restrained and unrestrained eaters. Frontiers in Nutrition, 7, Article 30. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnut.2020.00030
Racine, S. E., Burt, S. A., Iacono, W. G., McGue, M., & Klump, K. L. (2011). Dietary restraint moderates genetic risk for binge eating. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 120(1), 119–128. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3057961
Rafferty, M. (2016, November). Portion control: 10 tips for enjoying holiday dining. Nemours Children's Health blog. https://blog.nemours.org/2016/11/portion-control-10-tips-enjoying-holiday-dining/
Richard, A., Meule, A., Friese, M., & Blechert, J. (2017). Effects of chocolate deprivation on implicit and explicit evaluation of chocolate in high and low trait chocolate cravers. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, Article 1591. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01591
Smith, C. F., Williamson, D. A., Bray, G. A., & Ryan, D. H. (1999). Flexible vs. rigid dieting strategies: Relationship with adverse behavioral outcomes. Appetite, 32(3), 295–305. https://doi.org/10.1006/appe.1998.0204
Stice, E., Davis, K., Miller, N. P., & Marti, C. N. (2008). Fasting increases risk for onset of binge eating and bulimic pathology: A 5-year prospective study. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 117(4), 941–946. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2850570/
Stice, E., Sysko, R., Roberto, C. A., & Allison, S. (2010). Are dietary restraint scales valid measures of dietary restriction? Additional objective behavioral and biological data suggest not. Appetite, 54(2), 244–254. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2830309
Utter, J., Denny, S., Grant, S., Robinson, E., Ameratunga, S., & Fleming, T. (2011). Eating together at mealtimes: The role of family meals in the health and wellbeing of young people in New Zealand (Report No. 6/11). Families Commission. https://thehub.sia.govt.nz/resources/eating-together-at-mealtimes-the-role-of-family-meals-in-the-health-and-wellbeing-of-young-people-in-new-zealand
Vohs, K. D., Wang, Y., Gino, F., & Norton, M. I. (2013). Rituals enhance consumption. Psychological Science, 24(9), 1714–1721. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797613478949
Westenhöfer, J., Engel, D., Holst, C., Lorenz, J., Peacock, M., Stubbs, J., Whybrow, S., & Raats, M. (2013). Cognitive and weight-related correlates of flexible and rigid restrained eating behaviour. Eating Behaviors, 14(1), 69–72. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eatbeh.2012.10.015
Westenhöfer, J., Stunkard, A. J., & Pudel, V. (1999). Validation of the flexible and rigid control dimensions of dietary restraint. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 26(1), 53–64. https://reposit.haw-hamburg.de/handle/20.500.12738/4242
Yanovski, J. A., Yanovski, S. Z., Sovik, K. N., Nguyen, T. T., O'Neil, P. M., & Sebring, N. G. (2000). A prospective study of holiday weight gain. New England Journal of Medicine, 342(12), 861–867. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4336296
